There are times when i am ashamed of my pessimism, like its not me, not my true self. I have met someone in the last year that brings out this feeling in me. This feeling that i’m not really a pessimist, that really i have just been badly hurt, used up, tired, and sometimes i mistake the pessimism for intelligence and critical thinking. Mostly its about my anger and feeling helpless in the face of all the violence i witness and experience in the world. But in my heart i am still this girl, this girl who looks at situations and can see the lack of justice in them and has to believe things can change, it is who i am.