School!?

I have to write a synopsis for a story. A story that could be a documentary someday, or this term.  School is good, but it hurts.  I have to be okay with not knowing how to do things, not being naturally good at them, like Final Cut pro and working with cameras. Key things if your going to make films.  Its the writing part that is even more troubling right now. That’s the part i’m supposed to be able to do, but i’m stumped by how to write a synopsis for a story that could be a film.  What will it be? The Vancouver story, the Addiction story? That’s all i think about, those are the stories i want to tell.  I just don’t know how to fit them in to a classical narrative, a paragraph, more than a rant and it needs to have a payoff.  How about “were all fucked, now we can relax!”

I’m questioning today whether i can follow through with School. Maybe all the techy stuff is just not for me, too hard on my brain, and then i remember that i need to be patient, and slog through it a while longer. Its a funny thing to be needing confidence to go through sucking at something, but that is what i need right now, confidence and patience.   School still feels like the right choice in many ways, i like the routine; getting up early, making my lunch and snack, getting  my books together, going to bed early.  I feel like a mom sending her kid to school.

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2 responses to “School!?

  1. Hi Sharon,

    I just caught up on some of your postings, which I enjoying reading from time to time.

    Re. your school posting. I can totally empathize. School for me was very difficult. It challenged me to the core, triggering some deep rooted fears. I never thought that I was smart enough. It is one of my worst fears. Many times I wanted to quit, mostly because my body was hurting physically.

    I think your fears are like so many of us. We do not think we are good enough, smart enough, funny enough, beautiful enough. It is sad, but there is no better way to face your fears than to jump in. As painful as it is, with your awareness, I know you can get through it.

    Every day that I walked the 10 minutes from the bus stop to my classroom, I reminded myself that I am smart enough and that my education is not that important compared to what really matters in the world, namely being the best, most compassionate person I can be. I also reminded myself that I was not going on to be an academic. I may not be academic material, but I am good in other things.

    I always agonized when I had to start a new essay. It was tough, especially at the graduate level where expectations are higher, but the ideas came and I always got through it, often getting high grades, and I am very confident that you can too. Just start writing and the outline will come. It really is magical. And you are a very good writer with tons of ideas, so be fearless. Know that you are a very intelligent person and accept that you are a beginner at making films. Of course you have alot to learn, but like anything, with practice, it will get easier.

    Though this is heavy on advice, accept it as my love and immense respect that I have towards you…Hang in there girl. You will do it!

    Ian

  2. Dearest Hannah,

    I realize you wrote this post more than a month ago and it is quite a joy to have you advising me now, how to distill a story-a synopsis. I really love that you are in school and I really love that every day I know you are learning how to hone this craft that totally utilizes so many of your strengths. It gives me energy and inspires me to perhaps pursue my dreams.

    Mad love,

    Marge

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