I have one assignment left. A paper about a film that I have a crush on. It is a mirror of how my head works. Chaotic, associative, a little dirty, buzzy, and at moments, very beautiful. I think that may be why it is so hard to write about this film with some coherence. It’s all there, the information, I just need to order it in a way that it fits in to 5 double spaced pages filled with 1500 wds. I am afraid to finish things, i feel it now. I will be done this half of my learning as soon as I hand this in. I want it to be perfect, i want it to express how inspired I have felt watching this film, without it looking false and sucky. I am increasingly frustrated by my personal doubts and am feeling bored by them. They hold me back, and I don’t want to be held back anymore. They don’t do me justice or honour me or anyone that supports and believes in me. It won’t be perfect. It will be the best I can come up with given how exhausted I am, which if I were to be honest with myself, minus doubts, has been pretty good.