Dreams

I’m sitting at the computer in my fairy dress. Triggered, anxious, and calm. My hands feel cautious on the keys. I am raw. I am in this dress looking pretty, glitter on my cheeks, and flowers in my hair. I am the human sacrifice in a wedding dress. I am going to grant wishes today on the corner of Main and Hastings. A corner that I have spent more time on than any corner in the world. I learned a lot about loving here. I am filming the end of my film project today. I still have some of the middle to complete, but I have been clear for a while about how I wanted to finish my story about Vancouver. I wanted to give wishes to people who might have stopped dreaming, to people I love, to people I don’t know. I wanted to inspire people to think beyond what we accept as normal;poverty, addiction, violence. These normal things have infected our entire city, the entire planet; spiritual poverty, shopping addiction, psychological violence, and we can mix them all around, there are as many combinations as there are acts of violence and types of addiction. I want today to be about dreaming of something beyond this. Beyond offering yourself up as a human sacrifice to your father so he wouldn’t hurt the rest of your family. I want to go beyond this place, and even for a moment, even if it’s just dreaming, to give people, myself included, the space to vision a world without addiction, poverty, and violence, and what it would take to make that happen, even if It doesn’t exist in our lifetimes. Then I think I’m done with the human sacrifice stuff. My dream-To stay open, but safe, to love and be loved back, to do work I care about, to live in a world where people have enough, and feel they are enough. For me to have enough, and feel I am enough.

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