practicing time management today. I get so easily distracted I need to find a way to manage it. I have wasted so much time it hurts. First block is going for a walk. Dejavu just this second about the writing about going for a walk. My brain feels weird, my whole head. I feel so angry. Congested with something, I feel like it’s coming from my stomach, but I don’t know. I have one minute until my walk starts. I’ll stop now. Come back at the next break.
Back from the walk. So many creeps out early or at least one in a red car, slowing down. Pig. I don’t know that he was slowing down to look at me, but it seemed like it. It doesn’t even matter what I was wearing, it never does. I don’t wear makeup, I am not skinny, and I dress in whatever I feel like wearing, this morning jean shorts, and a grey t-shirt. I have been approached while wearing a raincoat overalls and army boots, I have had cars slow down beside me when I was wearing leopard tights heels and a long vintage leather coat. It doesn’t matter, women are for sale, so why wouldn’t I be. Anyway, there were also sweet birds on my walk, but pretty quiet, except for the noise in my head, maybe that’s why it hurts. Too fucking loud in there. I have 13 minutes to start writing about something I sort of care about. I care about my friend who asked me to write. I care about the money I could make writing for her and I care about design. So why is it so hard for me to write these blogs for her. I don’t want to dissapoint her. I’m making it harder for myself than it is. I’m thinking of it as an obstacle to overcome. I’m making it hard, and I don’t think it has to be. I’m being a bit of a baby. Now I have 8 minutes and want to set a timer on my computer. So I’ll stop here for now.