I have this very clear image in my head of the outline of a hat. The hat is the outline of the boa constrictor, inside the book “The Little Prince”. Inside the hat, the stomach of the boa constrictor, is an elephant. It always amazed me that something so thin and long could consume something so large and round. I had a dream the other night about a baby elephant in an area surrounded by snakes. Throughout the dream I was sure the elephant would protect me from all these snakes, but none of them were dying, and the elephant was playing, and disappearing. I would look on the ground and there would be these tiny figures of elephants, made of petrified wood, or dried shit. The snakes were everywhere; hanging from the trees, running through the surface of the water, on the ground, and I would leap to avoid them biting me, killing me. I could see them all so clearly. I’m not sure if it was a lucid dream, but I realized when I was crossing the water to avoid the largest snakes, that I could leap over this space, stay in the air long enough to hit the edge of the other side.
I have had an elephant fascination since I was little. My mother used to tell me to dream of them before I went to bed; dream of them pink and blue and fluffy, floating on clouds. I read a story a long time ago, a news story, that the orphaned babies require touching teams for the first six months of their life. They need to bond, if they don’t have constant touch they will die. I related to the lack of touch, and feeling like I would disappear into some hole in the world if no one touched me. I didn’t want people to, it felt awkward. I’m better about it now.
When I was in Grand Forks last month, I went in to a shop that had all kinds of things in it, but mostly stones and crystals. I used to really like going in to these kinds of stores. I’m not sure how much I believed in any healing power, but I was willing to try. Anyway, I was holding a bunch of different stones and crystals, some felt better than others. The owner of the shop and I were talking. He said he didn’t know much about what they did, he just knew what he liked. He eventually showed me this one piece he hadn’t put out. He thought I should see it. When he handed it to me I felt like I was in the “Lord of the Rings”. Not sure if I was Frodo or Smeagol, at that moment I felt like Frodo, but more excited. I was being handed the power sword. A serpentine wand from Peru. Slightly bigger and thicker than my middle finger. It was green and black, and carved in the shaped of a wand. A sharp point on the end. The night before the dream I took the point and I circled it around my right eye, and my right cheekbone. The right side of my head gives me a lot of trouble. I heard once, a long time ago that we process trauma through our right eye. I think it goes everywhere personally. When I get triggered, sometimes my right eye feels like it’s freezing. The last four months, the whole right side of my head has felt so heavy and irritated. My friend in Grand Forks said the right eye is connected to the liver in Chinese Medicine, and emotionally, to anger.
I always identified with Elephants. I have perceived them as gentle giants, so sensitive, protective, loyal, filled with memories, fearless, and terrified of the smallest things. Snakes are menacing, lethal. They also represent transformation, fertility, good things. In the dream, I don’t think I was that afraid of them. I had to save myself, the Elephants clearly weren’t able to help me. The snakes are still in my head, the long ones particularly, just under the surface of the water, and so green. Now I feel like Harry Potter, my eye is starting to hurt.